1431H.

So, 1430 is about to come to a close.

I am no saint. If anything, I am one of those people who need to be reminded the most. If there is one wish I may allow myself to have for next year, it is that I may never forget why I lead a life better than the person I am…the reasons are everywhere.

I hope to be a better person. I really, really do. That is all I ask of myself. I welcome 1431 with prayers and open arms. May this year be a better year for all of mankind, God willing.

Doa Akhir Tahun dibaca 3 kali pada akhir waktu Asar atau sebelum masuk waktu Maghrib pada akhir bulan Zulhijjah. Sesiapa yang membaca doa ini, Syaitan berkata: "Kesusahan bagiku dan sia-sia lah pekerjaanku menggoda anak Adam pada setahun ini dan Allah binasakan aku satu saat jua. Dengan sebab membaca doa ini, Allah ampunkan dosanya setahun"

Doa Awal Tahun dibaca 3 kali selepas maghrib pada malam satu Muharram. Sesiapa yang membaca doa ini, Syaitan berkata : "Telah amanlah anak Adam ini daripada godaan pada tahun ini kerana Allah
telah mewakilkan dua Malaikat memeliharanya daripada fitnah Syaitan".

...

Self reflection.

Beyond the dress and the henna.

Salam. It has been a while. For the past three months, I am indeed busy contemplating my heart and resembling all my thoughts to think about the decision. The decision to be with someone for the rest of my life. The decision to be someone's wife and the mother to his children, insyaAllah.
So,this decision has actually led to a series of unforgettable events.
We started to plan things together---our parents met---bought things for the D-day---etc.
It still continues up to the moment when I am writing this.
I have found an article which gives a really good insight about the necessary preparation for marriage. Like what the author said, "Be prepared- it's the rest of your life!"

So, how prepared I am towards completing half of the deen, I don't know.
There are towering tasks and loads of work to be done, honestly.
But I think right now, I need to redefine my niyyah/niat/intention.
After all, that's what a Muslim should do for every second in his life.

++Tepuk hati, tanya iman.++

Forgive me when I whine..

Currently playing: Forgive me by Ahmed Bukhatir

Today, upon a bus I saw a girl with golden hair,
And in my heart I wished that I was just as fair
When suddenly she rose to leave, I saw her hobble down the aisle.
She had one leg and wore a crutch, but as she passed, a smile.
Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 legs to walk upon and the world is mine.

I stopped to buy some candy; met a boy who had such charm.
We talked, he seemed so happy, if I were late, it do no harm.
And as I left, he said to me, 'Thank you, you've been so kind.
It's nice to talk with folks like you. You see,' he said, 'I'm blind.'
Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 eyes to see the world and the world is mine.

Later that day on my way, I saw a boy with eyes of blue.
He watched the other children play; he did not know what to do.
I stopped a moment, then I said, 'Why don't you join the others, dear?'
He kept on looking straight ahead and then I knew he could not hear
Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 ears to hear the world and world is mine.

With legs to take me where I'd go.
With eyes to see the sunset glow.
With ears to hear what I'd know
Oh the world is mine

I stopped for a moment, just look how much I have
Everywhere, in all our lives, these are His signs

Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have been blessed indeed, and the world is mine
Oh Allah, Oh Allah, forgive me when I whine.
I have been blessed indeed, and the world is mine

..

Academia and Macadamia White Chocolate

Dust.
Another mountain of dust.
My hand doesn't fit to sweep away those dust.
So, I have to use a snow plow.
Woosh~

Clean and clear.
No, it is not.
But it has a little space to fit in new things.

Now, I am ready.
InsyaAllah.
To start






... reading.
Good luck, Ms Brain!
We can do this!

Footnote: The picture above has nothing to do with the dust. It is just an obsession.

Where we belong.

Currently playing: Where we belong by Zain Bhikha

Once, I was drowning in my fears
and the twinkle in my eye dissappeared
and I had no way to look on
my horizon seemed to have gone
and my whole life seemed empty and bleak
each day and night the answers I seek

But when the darkness seems so strong
and I couldn't go on
to the sky I raise my hands
making right what was so wrong I found the strength to carry on
upto heaven where I belong

In life, there are lessons to be learned
with steadfastness, paradise is earned
and if all hope seems to be gone, just hold on 'til after the storm
and if you ask what purpose have I? why am I here and why do I cry?

And when the darkness seems so strong
and you just can't go on
pray for your helping hand
you'll see the sun will rise again
you'll find the strength to carry on
upto heaven where you belong

'coz life is but a journey for us all
we cry, we laugh we run, sometimes we fall
but through it all always recall God never gives a burden too tall

When the darkness seeems so strong
and I can't go on
to the sky i raise my hands
making right what is so wrong
I find the strength to carry on
upto heaven where I belong

Coz when the darkness seems so strong
and I cant go on,
to the sky I raise my hands making right what is so wrong
I find the strength to carry on
upto heaven where I belong

upto heaven, heaven where I belong..

The reason.

Any plan should start with this.

That's for us to remember why we plan things together.

Raya 2009.

From left; Muhammad Afiq, Afiqah, Atiqah, Aqilah and Atiqurrahman.

They are my dose of heroin. And I am addicted.

Complete. After three years.
Alhamdulillah...

A little girl and a navy

I used to be that little girl who
could sleep and dream about a navy
was always proud with that navy
hugged that navy whenever he came home
And I was that girl who always thought that the navy would stay the same even after 30 years


I am the same girl who keeps hiding and running away from that navy
The very same girl who does not believe in that navy anymore
I hope Allah will forgive me for behaving this way
I need help
Really need one.

Love in a Cage

“Whoever knows the worth of women and the mystery reposing in them will not refrain from loving them; indeed, love for them is part of the perfection of a man who knows God, for it is a legacy of the Prophet and a Divine love.”-Ibn Al-’Arabi

To realise that a man should know his God first
and his purpose in life before seeking a woman to be his other half, is so beautiful. It is his pursuit of Him that he finds her. Since the man will lead the family someday, it’s in my opinion that he should know his obligations before God, his place in His eyes and then act accordingly.
___________________________________________

Hopefully, when the day comes, he will..

hold my hand and guide me when I am lost
protect me when I am in danger
laugh at my jokes
forgive my faults when I make a mistake
accept my flaws and imperfections

be my crying shoulders and wipe away my tears when I am sad
be patient and understanding when I am angry

be my leader and imam
be my friend and companion
be my guardian and supporter
be the father of my children

be there through sadness and sorrow, hardship and grief
be there in happiness and ease
and please me for the sake of the Creator.
___________________________________________________

...

If it was easy, everybody would do it.

Ever love someone so much that you just want to vomit hearts all over the person?
...

Breathe.

Why am I tested?

‘Do men think that they will be left alone on saying “We believe” and that they will not be tested? We did test those before them, and Allah will certainly know those who are true from those who are false.”

[Al-Ankabut : 002-003]

Why don’t I get what I want?

“..But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth and ye know not.”

[Al-Baqarah : 216]

Why is this test so difficult?

“On no soul doth Allah place a burden greater than it can bear..”

[Al-Baqarah : 286]

Why am I so frustrated with myself?

“So lose not heart, nor fall into despair: for ye must gain mastery if ye are true in Faith.”

[Ali-Imran : 139]

How should I face them?

“O ye who believe! persevere in patience and constancy: vie in such perseverance; strengthen each other; and fear Allah; that ye may prosper.”

[Ali-Imran : 200]

What should I do?

“Nay seek (Allah’s) help with patient perseverance and prayer: it is indeed hard, except to those who are humble.”

[Al-Baqarah : 045]

What do I get out of all this?

“Allah hath purchased of the Believers their persons and their goods; for theirs (in return) is the Garden (of Paradise)..”

[At-Taubah : 111]

Who should I seek help from?

“say: Allah sufficeth me: There is not god but He: On Him is my trust - He the Lord of the Throne (of Glory) Supreme!”

[At-Taubah : 129]

I cannot stand it anymore!

“..and never give up hope of Allah’s Soothing Mercy: truly no one despairs of Allah’s Soothing Mercy, except those who have no faith.”

[Yusuf : 087]

My friend posted this up and it helped me a lot in getting through hurdles for the past few weeks. But, most of the time I forget..so, I need someone to hit me with the blue star and remind me to breathe. In and out, in and out.

The last daffodil

How to say ...

"Sitting in perfect silence, but love every second."

...

Of giving and receiving

Currently playing: Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy

And I shall learn to receive.
Starting with chocolate, sweet dates and a heart.

But what should I do in return?

...

Three dots.

...

Three meaningful dots.

Self-reminder: Your Iman needs serious repairs and your Soul needs restoration.


Gunung Tangkuban Perahu, Bandung.

The Unspoken Words

...

大好きだから　ずっと
なんにも心配いらないわ
無邪気に笑ってくださいな　いつまでも

悲しいことは　きっと
この先にもいっぱいあるわ
傷つくことも大事だから

就職も決まって　遊んでばっかりいらんないね
大人の常識や知恵　身につけるのもいい

変わりゆくのが　人の
こころの常だと言いますが
ねえダーリン　your soul
優しく輝きつづけるわ

大好きだから　ずっと
なんにも心配いらないわ
無邪気に笑っていられたら　いつの日も

...


Simpang Mengayau, Kudat.

The Requisited Love

...

What is this complex feeling, which deep down, is the only reason we continue to live, struggle and improve?

It would be hard to define it, because I, along with every other human being, can only feel it.
But I have learned that this feeling is present in every single action.
Picking up the phone and saying the affectionate words we have been postponing. Opening the door to someone who needs our help. Accepting a job. Worrying over things which are out of our control.
It is necessary, therefore,to keep love always in mind, regardless whether or not we take action.

..Self-reflecting and searching for the requisited love in life.

...

The Unsent Letter.

It hurt. It did.

It hurts sometimes. It does.

But Allah knows best.

I'll leave it at that.

...


Fusina Camp, Italy.

Allah Knows

Currently playing: Allah Knows by Zain Bhikha

When you feel all alone in this world
And there's nobody to count your tears
Just remember, no matter where you are
Allah knows Allah knows

When you carrying a monster load
And you wonder how far you can go
With every step on that road that you take
Allah knows Allah knows

No matter what, inside or out
There's one thing of which there's no doubt
Allah knows Allah knows

And whatever lies in the heavens and the earth
Every star in this whole universe
Allah knows Allah knows

When you find that special someone
Feel your whole life has barely begun
You can walk on the moon, shout it to everyone
Allah knows Allah knows

When you gaze with love in your eyes
Catch a glimpse of paradise
And you see your child take the first breath of life
Allah knows Allah knows

When you lose someone close to your heart
See your whole world fall apart
And you try to go on but it seems so hard
Allah knows Allah knows

You see we all have a path to choose
Through the valleys and hills we go
With the ups and the downs, never fret never frown
Allah knows Allah knows

Every grain of sand, In every desert land, He knows.
Every shade of palm, Every closed hand, He knows.
Every sparkling tear, On every eyelash, He knows.
Every thought I have, And every word I share, He knows.

Allah knows

I'm all out of randomness

Currently playing- Chloroform Perfume by From Autumn to Ashes

(Disneyland Paris)
i've had always been a dreamer
i've had my head among the clouds
all this time my thoughts have been flying
among the seasonal birds
-House 38, Student Village, Marjon 2006-



(University College Plymouth St Mark & St John, 2007)
It's frightening to think that flying away on second chances is really just running away
from what is never far behind.
And once we've settled in what is at first unfamiliar,
we will find in every reflection all that we wanted to forget until eventually,
the unfamiliar becomes the familiar all over again.
-Marjon, 2007-


(University College Plymouth St Mark & St John, 2007)
Truths and roses have thorns about them.
-IPBA, 2008-



(Dartmoor, 2006)
A teacher is a teacher is a teacher is a teacher.
-In the middle of nowhere, 2009-

Faces

The geek to be

The hard thinker

The innocent

"Teacher-I'm-bored" face

Shutter button loves me.

I love pressing the shutter release so much without realising that
I am actually hiding myself behind the small viewfinder.


Occasionally, I would join the crowd.


But, when I had to use my hands for this, I definitely asked other's help.


Sometimes, I risked myself.


And sometimes, I had to wait patiently.

But, so many times I missed to capture lots of sceneric views. My naked eyes were glued.

Looking at the real pictures, without the lens was so much better. That's what I thought.

Still, I never gave up to take pictures.

(Survived under a terrible heatwave in Italy, summer 2007)

Kept shooting, even in Pisa, Italy.

And in Netherlands.

Don't forget their wooden clogs. :) '

In short, the shutter button.or.release loves me dearly.

And I love it more.

Hugs~

SASIC's Schoolmate-Soulmate

With the super cool newly wed couple, Malik and Farah.


From left; Hanim, Atiqah, Aizu, Syeeda, Tin2, Farah and Nailah.



'Raja Sehari'- Syeeda and Yusri




The cake - Gerik





Another 'raja sehari'- Bob and Fiza

For more pictures, check out these sites:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/atiqahanif/

http://along-atiqah.fotopages.com/

30th May 2009

From left; Nada (VUW), Fatin (Macquarie), Dayah Zabarani (UoA), An (QUT) and Atiqah (MARJON)



I had a lunch with the Director General of Education Malaysia. :)

The School

The nation's hope


The kids


The river+crocodiles+lobsters


The flood


The view from 'pengkalan' Tangkarason


The school